Dismissed

DISmissed
o3/25/04


i met mark in a bus on my way to pampanga.. he was going to olongapo.
mark is a thin young man, smart, very friendly, philosophy-major seminarian student, valedictorian of their batch...

he just sat beside me (of all seats available, why dija hafta choose the seat besdie me?)...


and he was succesful at making me talk and react on the topics he opened about...
we conversed, debated, discovered our differences when it comes to relationships and our convictions, beliefs, we were able to discuss our hobbies as well... from mababaw to deep topics..
to make the list shorter, i got comfortable talking to him for the reast of the 3-hour (or more) trip.

when the bus finally got at my stop, he gave me his number-hoping that i would send him a text message after that bus encounter.. i got down and after moments of pondering on whether to text him or not, considering also whether i would violate my rule on relationships about "behaving", i finally thought that i don't have any other intentions than being a friend to this guy, he knows that i'm in a relationship, he said he he's involved with someone too..so i thought, probably we're just on the same boat of just making new friends and eventually enjoy each's company or at least conversation...

me : nice chat. :) tc.
mark: knew u'd txt me..! thanks. u will never forget me, most people don't. hope you could come on
my graduation on sunday. come on! i'll be givng a speech! i would be very much delighted if
you could come ;)

i didn't reply.

days after, he kept on bugging me by sending me numerous text messages invitingme to go to his graduation.. he kept on convincing me... giving me reasons to go there..

"come on! Bo Sanchez might be there..! there will be cardinals present and you need to go to mass anyway."

"see you on the 21st! ;)"

then...

"you have to be there! the day is very special to me and it wud b much appreciated if you cud come... u r special..i sensed that.. ur really nice.. please come. i reserved a seat for you..."

"i miss you.. i do"

huh?! ..what the h*ll are you saying!?

since the day he sent me "i miss you" messages, i lost the drive to maintain a friendship with him... i thought we were on the same boat... i thougt we had the same intention of being just friends.

so i ignored him, dropped his calls and sometimes, out of shame, i would answer his call then tell him asap that i need to get off the fone. i was rude, i was mean. so what?
then i received a message from him that initially ticked me off, annoyed me... then, bugged me that i felt the need to forward it to momon, hoping that he would say something like "nye.. so?" (hahaha) or something wise instead (like he usually does)... but i received no reply, no reaction.


mark: dinner date?
me : nah, i can't.
mark: r u fond of dismissing people like they were bugs? ..just tell me if you want me out, and i'll
be out faster than a speeding bullet..!

me : ey, i cant go out on a date with you.. i hav a bf.
mark: it's not a date DATE, u know.. i hav a gf too..
me : i know.. but you've been sending me "i miss you" messages lately and it's improper. sorry if
i may have misinterpreted it but it's not right.
mark: i'm really sorry... it's just that my emotional attachment is abnormally high.. i still want to be
ur friend.. can we start all over again?

then he sent a few more messages that made me think that i can't be friends with this guy...

me : when i met you i thought, "he can be a potential bestbud".. but then you kept on sending me
msgs that implies something else.. and i don't like that.

that was the last message i sent him.

am i really fond of dismissing people?? maybe i do.. but maybe i have my reasons.

dude, i think you're a great guy but you have to figure out first what and who you want. just because you're smart, carinyoso, romantic, spontaneous, sensitive, a good conversationalist, etcetera,, doesn't mean you can catch all the mermaids in the ocean. be good. by the way, congratulations.. and welcome to the real world! ;)


*Taken from my doyouwannadie BLOG.

Passing out:
in fairness to him - yes, i still do remember him and i did like him then.... but it just wasn't right.

...sayang....hahaha