looking forward to December

I miss the life of a lazy ass. I recall my mom getting tired of seeing me in bed all day. Kung hindi lang niya ko mahal na anak, baka sinipa na niya ko sa mukha palabas ng bahay. :p

My life/schedule then was only filled with working (for the sake of doing something so I won’t be a total burden to my parents and to make use of the things I learned in..Tapsi..err...school), sleeping, eating, getting drunk, movies, music, TV. I have all the time to myself. I can be selfish.

Now, no time for myself. It’s always for my kids, Jeff & other people. Not that I don’t want to care for Jeff, Stef and Troy; I’m just saying, I wish I also have time to care for myself. I used to tell a friend that the drive home was the only time that I can shut up, stare blankly and not think. Talking to myself or Jeff is an option, a privilege - but it’s something I usually do not avail of.

Haaay, I think it’s not only in my mind that I am tired. I am ACTUALLY tired - physically very tired. I remember last week I was telling a friend while we were walking in the middle of nowhere called "mall", "pwede ba akong maglatag d'yan at humiga, maglupasay..?" (with a vivid memory of my Araling Panlipunan teacher in highschool making the freestyle/mahjong stroke with her arms; she would always do that pag pikon na pikon na siya sa section namen while saying "ano ba naman, lalangoy na yata ako sa sahig na ito"..lol..she’s sooo funny). Antok na antok na kasi ako. Pagod.

Lately, everytime I do my rounds in the mall, I envy the people around, wishing that I could have a portion of their free time.

When I was in Makati, going to the mall means destressing with food, movie, coffee, books, (window) shopping and, socials with Mama or friends like the AFI people, momon, gail, acquaintances and whoever was available. Now mall means work. And I don’t like the idea because my relationship with the worldly luxury structures is being tainted. LOL. I was once a mall rat, hello. Hello, my former workplace was surrounded by neighboring gigantic malls owned by the same family who owns the NGO I worked for. And the other mini- malls nearby are paying their rent to that same family.

I’m really, really looking forward to December.

I plan to :

1. Take a break from work. By that time, I already have VLs. 3 days is good enough. I have to save on VLs so my back pay will be a little more than expected.
2. Get a massage!
3. Foot spa!
4. Catch on sleep.
5. Play with kids.
6. Visit my maiden home. Overnight if possible.
7. Get some stuff at home fixed (like my monster in law... joke!).

"time space warp... ngayon din!" =p