really, i was losing patience because Goldie was eating up so much of my (work)time for the day, and i had piles of work to do. besides, she was saying the same stuff she said the last 2 to 3 times she was here.

in the end, i still had my composure intact and was able to give Goldie the info she wants. i even managed to say something good about someone that hopefully would also do her good - as i made Goldie realize that she doesn't need to do what she did to her before. especially, now that she experiences and understands the situation firsthand.

she doesn't need to know that i said what i said, even if i intended for those words to help her in one way or another. hopefully, Goldie won't spill. i don't want that person to think that i am being (or trying to be) kind. maybe i'd rather be thought of as 'someone mean' by her.

is it because i want to feel less guilty? no. not at all. because it's not entirely our fault. it's non sequitur.