Before me, my wife Marowe had another boyfriend. A relationship that lasted for 6 long, painful years. I say “painful” because her boyfriend was cheating on her again and again.
Marowe would catch him red-handed with another girl, and so break off with him. Only to welcome him back when he pursues her again.
“Why in the world did you take this two-timer back again?” I asked, my eyes popping. “It wasn’t the first time he fooled you.”
“I thought I loved him,” she said, “but I realize now that I had a problem.”
Her problem: Marowe suffered low self-worth. Here’s a universal principle about relationships—and life in general: We don’t get what we deserve; We get what we think we deserve. So she felt that she deserved a guy like this who hurt her constantly.
But after 6 years, she woke up from her insanity. She simply couldn’t take it anymore. And she broke up with him for good.
And for 4 years, she had no boyfriend. Nada. Zero. Nothing.
She realized that having a boyfriend was almost like a crutch to her. She needed a boyfriend for her weak self-image. And not having one was going to be a healing experience.
During those years without a boyfriend, she “found” herself. She served God. She went out with friends. She grew up. And in discovering who she was, she discovered the kind of man she really deserved.
She deserved someone who wouldn’t hurt her, or cheat on her.
She now believed that she deserved someone faithful. Someone mature. Someone loving. Someone responsible. Someone who would care for her deeply.
And that was when she found me. (Ahem.)
More accurately, that was when I found my One True Love.
Here’s a key lesson: I’ve learned that without ending a bad relationship, there won’t be space for a good relationship to begin in your life.
Source : BoSanchez.ph
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side note : ofcourse it's way diffrerent if you're married because you already swore to a vow you should keep. if you're married and in a similar painful relationship, you can only hope and pray for better things to come through gradual changes. keep praying.
one funny but effective idea is to pray-over your spouse when s/he's asleep, for any kind of needed reformation. according to sources, it worked for their parents. lol ..i've been trying it haha changes are yet to come. :winks:
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2 comments:
wow,that's really sweet and romantic. :D Parang nakakrelate ako,coz I have a boyfriend now, we've been together (happily naman) for more than 2 years now,but unfortunately, there's never a week that we don't fight.
I feel like instead of making me stronger and help me or encourage me the to be the best person that I can be, it's the oppposite that he's doing to me.
But I love him!, I really do and I know he loves me too,coz he wouldn't try to pursue me again if he doesn't..and now, I'm just becoming devoted to my prayers. Maybe someday I'll take your wife's experience as an advice, or maybe i'll do the same thing...or MAYBE NOT.
But you're so right about everything that you said here.:D
BTW, I'll appreciate it if you will not post your reply on my site.thanks!I'll visit you again!
thanks for taking time to post.
uhm, like you said in your blog 'battles are essential'.... applicable din yan sa relationships.. we need these battles so that the relationship will (hopefully) grow. what's important is that the respect is always there and that we don't take our partner for granted.
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